Been a while

Well, I just made the switch to the "new" blogger... not a big deal so far. Anyway. I have royally messed up my whole life. It's all bad. Just hope we can hold on and try to keep moving on from here.
We kept mostly to ourselves this Christmas. We had Christmas with my parents on Christmas eve like we normally do. We skipped out on the Bice Christmas on Christmas day. I just felt like we needed to spend the day as a family for once. On wednesday we spent about 4 hours with Sarah's brothers families and 5 of her cousins (ages 16 to 27). This has become a bit of a tradition. Last night we went to our other budding tradition... game night at Katies. I went into it thinking that we would get there about 5 and leave at 10. Boy was I off. We stayed till 12! Now that may not sound like much, but when there are 9 children under the age of 9, that is something else. It's a miracle we all survived! Seriously though, we had a fun time and it was probably something we needed. I don't feel like I have any close friends anymore (undoutedly my fault) and I really enjoy the time that we spend with my brother-in laws and Katie.
Life is too hard to tackle alone and at least I have family that is about my age. There may be somethings that I won't share with them at this point in my life, but at least we can hang out together and try to have a good time occasionally.
I apologize for the long post and the whining. But I hadn't felt like putting anything in for a while now.

Stress 2

Still functioning. Not much of an update, but starting to get some help with all that is going on. Did discover that my roof has been leaking for a while now in a closet that we don't use. Just great. On top of everything else that is stressful that I can't talk about right now, I have a leaky roof that I am completely unable to do anything about since no one will give me a loan and we are buried in a repayment plan for another year. We're barely getting by and I'm worried about Christmas. "It's the most wonderful time... of the year." Really lovely song.

Life goes on

I am trying to chill. It all seems so overwhelming (what's going on) but I have to just pick up and keep trying to move forward from here.

Stress

Still extremely stressed, but am trying to function. I am still having moments, but trying to get by.

Can't take it.

I kept having stress attacks all day. I kept feeling like I was going to puke and I kept feeling out of breath. Don't know what I'm going to do.

Startling

I had some pretty momentous (horrifying?) news this weekend. Not that I have anyone to talk to about it. I would love to have someone to talk this over with but I have been burned by so many judgemental people in my life that I don't feel I can trust anyone anymore. It's like I already feel bad enough about the various things in my life that I've done wrong but then I get to have it thrown back in my face all the time by others. That doesn't help. Sarah says I need to get it out and she's probably right but I don't have any outlets and I'm sure as heck not putting stuff that personal on a web page. Well, I guess I better go. Got schoolwork to check over, dishes to do and lunch to make... Oh and another load of laundry because I didn't get to it yesterday.