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one week and 2 days and I figure I've still got about a week and a half til I manage to adjust to this new schedule.

WOW

I'm finally going to days. This monday 12-10-07 I move to engineering. Woo hoo.....nervous.

Thanksgiving Day!

Glad it's the holiday. Looking forward to the long weekend. My only wish is that I'd be using this long weekend to get my sleeping schedule back to dayshift.........oh well. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Crazy

Wow. Finally going back to dayshift! It feels kind of unreal. Got about 4 to 6 weeks til they let me go. Big cut scares me but hopefully we'll be happier with the shift change though.

Nice

I am so glad that the temperature finally went down. Don't get me wrong, I'm not quite ready for winter, but work is so much better with it like this.

August heat sucks.

Been a while as I've been quietly working on facebook. It's easier and quicker. Been a busy time at work and home. Roofs been leaking (no money and not a dang thing I can do about it). Lost my wifes car (rod through the engine not very good for it) and sold mine before it died (it wasn't doing so well shifting or accelerating). The company shut one of it's plants that had no real potential to grow given the market and of course the rest of the plants have to pick up the slack. Don't get me wrong, staying later makes more money, but then getting up later means less time with my family. Example: my wife was gone just before I got up today. Makes me sad when stuff like that happens. Just more reasons to give up hopes and dreams, they just get in the way because they never happen anyway.

Wow.

I can't believe it's been two months since I updated.
I am exhausted today. I don't know why. I just got up today and feel wiped out. Of course I need to get off my butt and do some laundry and cook some lunch for the boys and I.
I wish I had a really long vacation coming. The stress is starting to get to me again. I think about my lovely problems and it seems overwhelming. I am really afraid of what it is that I should do. Not having a best friend makes it a little difficult. I keep being told by different people I should get someone to talk to. They make it sound like you just go to the store and buy one. If it was that easy.....
Anyway. I really don't want to go to work today. Oh well.
Stephen

Still going

Added to my currently shuffling:
--Green Day - When I come around
--Building 429 - Glory Defined
--Carman - Who's in the House (All housed up mix)
--Petra - Guitar Solo (live)
--Seventh Day Slumber - I Believe
--Seventh Day Slumber - Make Believe
--Skillet - Savior
--Skillet - Open Wounds
--Skillet - Whisper In the Dark
--Skillet - Rebirthing
--Toby Keith - Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (I know, I know, it's country! Anybody who's patriotic should listen to this though!)

REMOVED from the shuffle
--Anberlin - Paper Thin Hymn
--Bride - Skin for Skin
--Clannad - Robin (the hooded man)
--Enya - May it Be
--Enya - Only Time
--P.O.D. - Southtown
--Seventh Day Slumber - Once upon a Shattered Life
-- And Tourniquet - Vanishing Lessons was actually Bearing Gruesome Cargo

Listening

Now shuffling
--Green Day - Boulevard of Broken Dreams
--Green Day - American Idiot
--Anberlin - Paper Thin Hymn
--Bride - Skin for Skin
--Bruce Springsteen - The Rising
--Clannad - Robin (The hooded man)
--Enya - May it Be
--Enya - Only Time
--Gargantua Blargg - Simple
--Jeremy Camp - Take My Life
--Kutless - Draw Me Close
--P.O.D. - Boom
--P.O.D. - Southtown
--Petra - Jekyl & Hyde
--Seventh Day Slumber - Awake / Missing Pages
--Seventh Day Slumber - Once upon a Shattered Life
--Switchfoot - Meant to Live
--Switchfoot - Ammunition
--Switchfoot - Dare You to Move
--Tobymac - Gone
--Tobymac - Made to Love
--Tobymac - Boomin
--Tobymac - Ignition
--Tobymac - Slam
--Tobymac - No Ordinary Love
--Todd Agnew - This Fragile Breath
--Tourniquet - Carry the Wounded
--Tourniquet - Heads I Win, Tales You Lose
--Tourniquet - Besprinkled in Scarlet Horror
--Tourniquet - Vanishing Lessons

Life

Wow. Has it really been that long since I posted anything? Guess life has been kind of busy. I haven't played a game in 2 months. I would love to spend some time on my own and play, but between all the crap in life and how little time I seem to have these days, I just don't seem to be able to. It kind of sucks. I wish I had some time to just get away from work and life in general. I need a break. If Sarah and I could spend a couple days alone... that would be incredible.

Today

Well. It's here. Today. The day that forever changes my life. The day that started all the stress. It makes me cry. At work. At home. Right now. Can't seem to do anything right.

Mindless ramblings

Haven't had much to write lately. Thankfully it's been sort of quiet. It has almost always been my experience that when things are quiet or on those rare occasions good, the "other shoe" is about to drop. I hate this. I remember a day a couple days before the end of November where I had a really good day. I'm talking one of the best I've had in FOREVER. I kept thinking about how things were going and what usually comes after, but I tried to forget about it. That saturday December 2nd. That was the worst day of my life. I will never be able to forget how horrible that day was. I can clearly see every thing from that day. I just can't escape the feeling that it's going smooth right this minute and I'm going to get hit upside the head again. I'm not angry with God for all this. My stupid choices usually help put me where I am. But I just wish He could give me a break that lasts. I am so tired of all the pain and suffering. I feel like it doesn't matter how hard I try, it will never be good enough. I am destined to suffer my whole life. Why can't life have some joy and peace. It would be so nice to just have things go the way I plan for once in a while. I always get my hopes up and when I get to the moment where I think something good is going to happen, it VERY rarely happens. I keep telling myself that I should just give up hoping all the time and I'll quit getting hurt. The next day I stupidly start hoping again and by the end of the day my hopes get crushed again. I am so tired.

Sorry

I can't believe my blog is so boring. Sorry for whining.

yeah

I can't seem to do anything right. It doesn't really matter anymore. I am a complete failure and I should just give up. Everything I touch goes wrong and no matter what I do, it isn't good enough to fix it. Whatever.