Fact Checked!

Fact check sites have popped up all over. The interesting thing with these is that when you fact check the fact checkers there is an interesting pattern. Most of them lean left and seem to overlook real facts to bend the people a certain way. That is the reality we now face. I caught them in so many falsehoods that I know longer look to them. I do something really strange, I listen to these things for myself.
I'm tired of people acting like sheep and throwing these so called fact checkers in my face. If you really want to you can find anyone or any site that will "prove" your point of view. How about make up your mind and if it is wrong, so be it. At least you won't be led around by the nose. Or better yet, do your own looking into things and make the best decision you can based on what YOU find.

Stress

  Life is full of stress. There is no magic pill to cure it. No way to avoid it. Even if you have a peace that is beyond understanding there are still stresses in life. We aren't perfect and neither is this cursed world. With a reliance on Christ it can relieve a lot. If we were fulling dependent on Him it would solve most of it but we are not. Human nature.
  I think that from a purely human standpoint the people in your life can make or break your spirit in regard to stress. Those who support and help you can make all the difference. If there is a constant tearing down your stress will increase but if there is a we can do this together attitude, it will make a difference in your life.
Just a short thought running through my brain the last couple days.

Frustration

I am frustrated in life. With most everything. This is who I am and where I mentally reside. Maybe it's a personality thing or a depression thing. Maybe it is nothing more than life experiences catching up with me and overwhelming any sense of optimism. I honestly don't know the answer to this one. There are many things in life where I can easily say I'm being stupid or I'm living in sin by not confessing this worry or fear or whatever but the reason I'm not so sure about this one is that I don't see where there is necessarily anything wrong with having a dose of reality to work with and around.
This post is a bit of a complaint and a bit of questioning I guess.

I am frustrated by society. Not just from a spiritual standpoint of gross destruction of morality but from believers who throw away all sense of who they claim they are to support those who not only aren't one of us but will actively shut down our freedoms by being the biggest bully on the block.

I am frustrated by those who do not work. I can't stand it. I'm not talking about those who, try as they may, cannot seem to find it. I'm talking about those who are perpetually in school. Who are perpetually looking for part time. Who are just sucking the ever living life out of those of us who are already struggling to survive but by golly we have to keep paying more and more to support your lazy a**.

I am frustrated by the church. Not the church as in the actual believers who are the body of Christ but those who love to claim they are "Christians". I realize they must be fakes that are part of the destruction of "religion" in America but I am still frustrated by it. Stop talking if you are conflating Jesus with social justice. Stop talking if you conflate Jesus with stopping "man-made climate change". It's complete crap. If you think that these things and others like them are somehow "spiritual", shut up.

I am frustrated with trying. It feels hopeless. No matter how much I feel like I do what I can it feels never good enough. I guess failure would be the operative word here. This is not a condemnation but a frustration factor speaking. The middle is never held and it all falls apart. This is the seeming story of my life.

I am frustrated with the elections. Too many years of voting for the lesser of two evils has us voting for the 2 worst candidates in presidential elections in my lifetime. One is the worst of us and the other is a literal fake pretending to be a Republican when he is DEFINITELY a Democrat. The duping of all the people into believing he's one of them is down right AGGRAVATING. However, the only bright spot in the whole thing is all the democrats who hate someone who has their principles. Too funny.

I'm not sure when I'm going to get to the other posts but they won't stop buzzing my head. I'll have to get into them so they can stop running circles in my head. That is frustrating as well.

Regret

As if life isn't hard enough we waste a lot of time on foolish things such as regret. I know I do. I know I do and yet I still do it. I'm not sure if it's sin or frustration or just getting lost in my own head but it is a hard one to overcome.
I think back on things all the time. Not as a matter of intent or want but rather my mind, running from place to place as it does, takes me down roads I do not intend and would frankly rather not. I think back to so many mistakes or choices made or even choices not made and I become negatively lost in regret. So many mistakes that it is a wonder to my mind how I not only got through any of it but how I even get up and keep moving in the mornings. Some days I simply do not wish to and lay in bed until I have absolutely no choice but to get moving or risk staying in bed the whole day and wasting away. Yes, that thought has entered my brain. Many times.
Shame and embarrassment take over in those situations. Is it right? I doubt it. It's not something I want to be dwelling on obviously but sometimes it just pops right in there.
I don't know about anyone else but I figure I'm not alone in dealing with regret. However, as a sinner, father, son and husband my plate of regret is overflowing. Change is always a necessity and forward progress a must but the plate is already full and no matter my best intentions I will undoubtedly add more too it.
The immensity of my regret is great and what I regret most sometimes changes but with circumstances as they are now my regrets as a father are currently out in front of me. Front. And. Center. As always I will step forward and continue my life but probably a bit more sluggish today than others.

Life Part #SomethingOrOther

I have blog points on Marriage, Grief, Stress and Driving that I've been putting off. Life keeps getting in the way. My personal life as well as my work life have been hectic and crazy. I feel like there is no keeping up with normal life let alone taking time to post here. This blog has been a thought dropping point for me. My mind gets so busy with thoughts and ideas that I can't seem to stop running, in my head anyway, and these things occupy my sleep as well as waking time and adds to my normal exhaustion. This blog has really helped me to unload some of them.
Maybe this long weekend I'll be able to finally unload some of these and stop them from bouncing around in my mind with a, seemingly, will of their own.
Anyway, here's hoping.

Work

It's been rough the last couple months. Yeah, I know, boo hoo. Work is tough and you just need to get over it. Let me squash that.

We are a newer company that has had a meteoric rise in sales and going through all the pains that success brings. I won't go into that but suffice to say we've been overwhelmingly busy. Then, out of the blue one of our key people was discovered to have Leukemia. Life took an ugly turn for them and I found myself having to do around 60% of their work. It's not their fault and I'm not upset or angry but frankly I have a lot more to do. I've struggled to keep my head above water.

Along comes a software renewal. We needed to make some changes to the billing after it running on auto renew for years. We tried to logon and make the change. We couldn't find anywhere to affect the billing. Well, I was told to call them and figure it out. Side note, this was a third party purchase of another companies software. I called them and spent several hours on hold because of "higher than normal volume of calls". Frustrating but needed to be done though. I talked to them and was told they no longer support the other companies product and I need to deal with them. Frustrated. I call the software producer and go through it all with them and they insist that I need to go through the other company. Now three days behind on non-critical work. It's piling up. Screw it, I'm done with this crap. I tell my boss where I'm at with it and go home late after finishing up the more critical items.
Monday. I get there and put my head down for one heck of a busy day and work on the 3 day backlog. I leave a little late but I am on track for the first time in weeks. Was exhausted but felt good about what was done.

Tuesday. Shortly after arriving my boss gets all over me about a solution to the situation. I try to keep up with my work while spending several hours going back and forth between companies getting passed from person to person and the buck being passed over and over and neither of them getting me even one step closer to figuring this out. I'm a half day behind when I get out for the day. Very frustrated after all I had gone through the day before. I tell my boss and go home.

Wednesday. My boss has seemingly forgotten all he was told about my efforts and tells me I need to get on this right now. I do my best to balance everything while getting passed between companies but manage to find a few helpful people. I'm making progress and I'm now convinced that it is company A that will be the ultimate endgame but company B has told me to call them back for a renewal with them when this is all done. I leave a little late but not horribly.

Thursday. That fateful day. I get some stuff out of the way and make a call to company A. Did I mention that the day before I had found someone who was particularly competent. I emailed them again with better details on Wednesday so I now had chat, email and phone calls simultaneously to get through this disaster. Anyway, I spend 4 hours on hold. Let that sink in. 4 hours. Three hours in someone walked through my office and I made them stand in there while I went to refill my water bottles and then use the bathroom. I came back and was still on hold for another hour. I got a hold of someone and they were shocked at my wait time. I may have made an issue of it. They said they had never heard of someone having to wait so long. I think they just hadn't heard of it because most people get sick of it and hang up. That's my opinion. I explained the problem and they said that wasn't their division, I needed to call a different number. That ain't happening. I told them that in the email THEIR company sent this was the number to call. THEIR domain name was in the email. THEIR logo was built into it. THEIR reply to address was at the top and bottom of the email. He wasn't convinced and told me it was the other company. I said bull, give my your email address and I'll send it to you. I did. He agreed it came from their company. But said the number at the bottom belonged to someone else and I should try that. I said no it doesn't, this is the number I called that led me to you and it is correct. I didn't wait on hold for this long to be pushed off for the dozenth time. He asked me to hold while he called the number. .

He comes back and says he needs to get with his supervisor. He spends some time away and comes back telling me that apparently that division of their company was closed down. I have info. We talk back and forth about why we are being billed and come not closer to a real answer but they promise a call back and we part ways. A somewhat frustrating phone call but progress is made.

About an hour later. I get an email from the woman from earlier. She has tracked it all down and given me all the answers I have needed all along, in writing no less! I thank her profusely. I can't believe the difference finding the right people can make. Oh, and she was just a part time worker.

Time to start pricing new software.

I am only a day behind now....

Love your neighbor...

I have watched with a measure of aggravation people, who are clearly not true Christ followers beat down others with "Love your neighbor as yourself" as some sort of justification to accept anything wrong as right. I think the problem is that unbelievers, whether they just are unbelievers or are just fake believers, cannot understand real love. It's not a slam. It is truth.
Love your neighbor as yourself is not agreeing with evil deeds out of some fake notion of love, it is love your neighbor as yourself knowing that they are wrong. Few can or will grasp what seems like a fine line.
Love is not participating in evil or wrong deeds but loving the person even if it means walking away and letting them continue in their sin. This runs counter to culture and will earn you much hate.